Born in Oxford, Miriam Margolyes, 84, began acting at Cambridge University. In 1994, she won a Bafta for her role in The Age of Innocence and was later cast as Professor Sprout in the Harry Potter films. Her stage credits include Wicked, The Vagina Monologues and Dickens’ Women; her TV work includes Trollied and Blackadder. In 2002, she was made OBE, and in 2022 received a BBC Audio Drama lifetime achievement award. She takes Margolyes and Dickens: More Best Bits to the Edinburgh fringe at the Pleasance at EICC, Pentland theatre from 9-24 August. She lives in London.
When were you happiest?
On tour during Christmas vacation at Cambridge with its European Theatre Group, playing Shakespeare. I knew it was the best time of my life.
What is your earliest memory?
Handing my Aunt Muriel a freshly minted turd from my playpen.
What is your greatest fear?
To experience the utter powerlessness of locked-in syndrome.
Describe yourself in three words
Short. Fat. Jewish.
What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Selfishness.
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Greed.
What is your most treasured possession?
My marble cupid, given to me by my mother. It is so perfectly balanced it can be turned with one finger, despite its great weight (unlike myself).
Aside from property, what’s the most expensive thing you’ve bought?
Every time I got a lucrative voiceover, I bought a picture. The most expensive was by James Gillray.
What makes you unhappy?
The plight of Palestine.
What do you most dislike about your appearance?
My fat tummy.
What scares you about getting older?
Becoming doubly incontinent.
What did you want to be when you were growing up?
I wanted to be a doctor, like my father.
What is the worst thing anyone’s said to you?
Glenda Jackson said I was an amateur during rehearsal for The White Devil at the Old Vic. I called her a cow, but that was inadequate.
What was the last lie you told?
The only time I ever lie is when I am given a meal at someone’s house that has disappointed me.
What is your guiltiest pleasure?
Bendicks Bittermints.
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To whom would you most like to say sorry, and why?
To my mother for disappointing her. Mummy wanted me to be a different sort of person from who I am, but one can’t change oneself.
Who is the greatest love of your life?
My partner, Heather.
What has been your biggest disappointment?
Never to have played at the National or the RSC.
If not yourself, who would you most like to be?
Queen Elizabeth I. She was witty and politically aware, and no one was successful in defeating her.
What is the closest you’ve come to death?
When the media, en masse, reported my imminent demise.
What keeps you awake at night?
Facebook and the need to pee.
What happens when we die?
Nothing at all.