Kit Taylor
BBC News, Yorkshire
Kit Taylor/BBC
Kirsty’s life changed when she started experiencing brain fog
“I didn’t believe it could just be menopause. I thought it must be a brain tumour or dementia.”
Kirsty Dixon’s life changed overnight when she started experiencing intense brain fog at 49 years old.
Kirsty, from York, was staring at her screen at work one day, when suddenly she could not remember what she was doing.
“I just asked myself ‘What is my name?’, and I couldn’t even remember my own name.
“I felt like I was going mad, I thought it was only me.”
The problems continued when she tried to access support.
“I thought, why aren’t people listening to me?
“I’ve got something really serious going on but I can’t get anyone to listen.”
Kirsty was told by a doctor that what she had experienced was part of the menopause.
Provided
Kirsty hopes to bring women together who are going through the menopause
It is estimated that one in three women in the UK is going through the menopause at any given time.
Kirsty, learning and development adviser at the University of York, is working to raise awareness of the lesser-known symptoms and the huge impact they can have on people’s lives.
“Before menopause I’ve always been a very bubbly person, very social, bit mischievous,” she said.
“Menopause came along and just put a big thunder cloud over my head.
“I lost myself. The number of times my husband said ‘I want my Kirsty back’ while he was cuddling me and I was in floods of tears.”
Kirsty spent the next four years “fighting it” as she could not believe that those were menopause symptoms.
‘Lightbulb moment’
Then, during lockdown, Kirsty found herself researching menopause for her work.
She stumbled across an article by someone who had experienced the same symptoms as her.
“I got that lightbulb moment that what I was experiencing was perfectly normal, I needed to understand it and know what I could do to help myself,” she said.
“I went from having this constant cloud and feeling useless, to actually owning my journey.”
Now aged 58, Kirsty runs two support groups for women experiencing the menopause, including a nature walking group around York, and a pop-up cafe in Acomb.
They are non-profit and everyone is welcome, regardless of age or gender.
She hopes the groups will encourage more people to talk about the lesser-known symptoms.
Kit Taylor/BBC
One of the groups meets at a pop-up cafe in Acomb
“When you’re going through it, it can feel so lonely,” she said.
“You feel like it’s only you, and you think you’re going mad.
“One of the most important things I say to people is get your support network around you, and that’s family, friends, and groups like this.”
Sarah Mortimer, 54, has been coming to the group since it started in 2022.
She experienced an uncommon symptom of self-diagnosed burning mouth syndrome during her menopause, which involves developing blisters in the mouth with a burning feeling.
“It can be really isolating, so to find groups like this is amazing,” she said.
“It makes a huge difference, knowing there’s other people going through the same rubbish that you’re going through.
“It’s that strength in numbers thing, and there’s strength in the power of talking about the menopause.”
Kit Taylor/BBC
Sarah has been coming to the group since it started
The group is based in York, but people travel from as far as Leeds, Sheffield and Beverley to attend.
Kirsty says that it highlights an ongoing issue around the need for more support for people going through the menopause.
“No one else was running a menopause cafe in York, so it was obviously something that was missing.”
She is calling for more groups like this so that people do not have to travel so far to get the support they need.
“What I will say now, is as a post-menopausal woman, I am the most confident, the strongest, most creative person.
“If someone said to me you can have your life again, without your menopause experience, actually, I’d say no, because it’s what’s made me the person I am today.
“If I can get through that, I can get through anything.”